Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
