his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
