Nicole vs. Life
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
