anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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