please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
