really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
