he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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