Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
