3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
