ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
