It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
