If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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