New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
