Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
