I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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