You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
If I had your ass I would rule the world
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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