Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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