yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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