so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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