im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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