Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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