420 ftw
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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