I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
