We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I need to calm my uterus...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
