how can u be prego again
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
