I just cut my nipple shaving
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you traded sex for a burrito?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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