There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
