Your tits are I can't wait for
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
