Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
MIDGETS
????
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
