I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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