You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
