If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Bring me that man meat
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
