Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
