I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
