problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
