Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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