You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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