Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
you win again, gameday.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
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