They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
