he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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