I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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