Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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