What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
