how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
We got so high we made milksteak
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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