her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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