I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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