dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
