smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
it's great music for shaving your balls
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
