I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
