look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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