Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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