I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
