i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
