it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Randomize
